Episode 83 - Supporting continuing bonds through adult memory making in hospital-based end of life care
JS
Justin Stech
0:05
Welcome to Social Work Stories, a podcast exploring social work practice through stories and critical reflection. This podcast is recorded on Aboriginal Country which was never ceded. We acknowledge the traditional custodians and cultural knowledge holders of these lands, and pay our respects to Aboriginal Elders past, present and emerging. We offer a warm welcome to any Indigenous listeners who are part of our podcast community around the world. If you have thoughts or feedback for our team, or just want to find our whole back catalogue of episodes, check out our website Socialworkstories.com. But for now, on with the episode.
LM
Lis Murphy
0:56
This is the Social Work Stories Podcast, hello, everyone, my name is Lis Murphy, and you're expecting me to say and across the way here is Dr. Mim Fox, well no, you're in for a surprise, Mim is actually in Fiji at the moment with a bunch of social work students podcasting. Gosh, she leads a hard life doesn't she? But across the way from me is wonderful Jo McElveen, Bereavement Coordinator for South East Sydney Local Health District. Hello, Jo McElveen, hello.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
1:28
Lis, how are you? Thank you so much for having me super excited to talk today.
LM
Lis Murphy
1:32
Me too, because this is right in your area of passion and expertise. Jo today we're actually listening to a really creative story on memory making in the end-of-life space with an adult. So, Jo, can you tell us a little bit about, memory making, and why we are interested in it in relation to grief.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
1:59
So, thanks, Lis, that's such a great question. I wanted to just point out that first off memory making is a really wonderful opportunity to explore the reality of death as a natural part of life and normalise that. And by doing this, we help build death literacy within our communities, but also grief literacy. But before we get on to what's happening in the memory making space now, I just wanted to mention that when you asked me to participate in this conversation, I was having a think about and a look at some of the literature that's out there. And interestingly, memory making started in the Victorian times in Britain, which is really a curious thing. Many of us, many of you may already know that. And it was called “Memento Mori”, and it was an art using a range of methods to preserve their loved one’s memories, including symbolic carvings and inscriptions, death masks, trinkets and keepsakes such as locks of hair, bone fragments, and different texts as well as postmortem photography.
So it's been around for a really long time. And I'm not sure what's happened between Victorian times and now. But certainly, now post COVID, there is a huge demand for memory making. It's a really important part of the end-of-life processes, particularly in the acute hospital space where I mostly work. It happens a lot in hospice as well palliative care. But since COVID, and people not being able to come and spend time with their loved ones who were dying, or being able to be present at that point in time, hospital social workers took on the challenge of how do we enable families to feel connected to their loved one during end of life. And that was where memory making was thought would be useful for people that couldn't get into the hospital and couldn't visit their loved ones, that they could instead be using technology, photography, locks of hair, printing, thumbprints, any type of creative medium to capture what was happening at that time.
And it's not across all health districts, that they're offering memory making, but certainly, in my health district, it's very important. And it's actually part of the end-of- life orientation that I do with new social workers starting, normalizing that, as well as our psychosocial spiritual assessments that we're doing with patients and families at end-of-life, we're also offering memory making, and what I love about memory making when I was thinking about it, and I hadn't thought about this before, so memory making, is an active thing to do with someone, it's not a passive thing. And I think for social workers, often we like to be solution- focused and we like to be task- oriented. And so this undertaking of something active is both simple caring for patients, families and the social worker themselves.
LM
Lis Murphy
5:03
Jo, that is so interesting, I always get excited when I hear about the impact of something and its relationship to change of practice. So what you're actually describing is that memory making was something that was done many years ago. And we know that social workers have been using memory making in the neonatal death space, but you're talking about as a result of COVID, memory making in the adult space that was created or used again, because families couldn't get to bedside when their person was dying, but it's actually continuing on. So it's kind of like one of those little happy accidents that happened as a result of COVID. And I love that we are hearing about contemporary practice that's morphing as we speak, Jo.
Jo, so what we're about to hear now, it, is a social worker that is practicing memory making. And it's an interesting one, because for some of the memory making that we hear about, the person has already passed away, but in this story, the patient is alive and actively engaging with the family in the making of memory making or mementos. And so, I reckon we'll launch into it. But what I wanted to encourage our listeners, Jo, is to listen to the actual process, because this is a real “how to piece,” I reckon, isn't it? She stepped it through beautifully. She gives examples of the language that she uses, and how she introduces the idea of memory making with this patient, and how she offers options, and how it is so much more about the process than the actual product. Yes, mementos very important. But listen to how the social worker facilitates a beautiful process, that in fact, the patient and the family take on board that they eventually take ownership of it and really work with it beautifully. Don't you reckon Jo?
JMc
Jo McIlveen
7:10
It's a wonderful, podcast recording and excellent story. And not only does she capture what happens with memory making, but she really explores what's happening at end-of-life for that person as well. From when that decision is made, which is a really interesting thing for people to hear, because that's not a simple thing, either. Yeah, she really sets the scene beautifully and allows us to reflect on our own practice and think about what we can be doing to meet people's cultural and social needs at end of life.
LM
Lis Murphy
7:45
Beautiful, what a great segue, Jo so let's listen to it and we'll come back and have some more reflections.
SW
Social Worker
8:04
Hi, so I'm a social worker working in one of the big trauma hospitals here in Sydney. And so I'm here to talk about memory making and what I do in my clinical practice. So normally, with memory making, it comes about after we've had some family discussions regarding normally stopping treatment. So for this particular case, we had noticed this patient had increasing frailty, she had a lot more admissions to hospital, and the medical team wanted to discuss with her and her family about what her quality of life was coming to, as she had those increase in hospital admissions, so we had a family meeting.
And after that family meeting, the decision was for her to stop all forms of treatment, and change to what we call comfort measures. So the nurse and myself had a conversation with the palliative care nurse, and I had a conversation with the medical team regarding where we would like to do this end of life. We met with the family and discussed three different options, one is returning home for end of life where she can have all her family and friends, we connect her with our community palliative care team. Or she can go and look move into like a hospice type centre where they have palliative care nurses there that can provide all that support, or she can remain in the hospital where she has been receiving her treatment over the many years where she's around surrounded by all of her nurses that have cared for her.
So after having that conversation with the patient and her family, their wish was to remain in the hospital she knows. The patient thought she'd been coming to this hospital for many, many years with all of her treatments and she felt that it was the right place where she could be well supported by the people that she knew that would take special care of her. And the family were very comfortable with that decision as well.
So I kind of had that conversation with them about making the room that they're going to move into less clinical. So in a hospital setting, there's lots of noises, and there's lots of different machines in the rooms and we just kind of remove all of that and really make it something that is her’s for those last few days or weeks, or however long the process takes. So when we talked to her, we said, you know, bring some photos in or, you know, if you've got grandchildren, get them to paint or you know, their pictures up on the walls, bring your own blankets and pillows in and make it your own bedroom for your time. And we bring in like an extra bed for the family, so they can stay there overnight and be with her as long as she wants them to be.
So the following day, I kind of went into the patient's room, and she had everything set up and it was very cozy. And she was lying in bed with her favourite blanket on and she had granddaughter’s paintings that she originally had in her bedroom she had brought in to her room here at the hospital. And I kind of said to her, “What's the most important thing for you at this time?” And she said, “I just want to spend as much time as I can with my family.” And I said, “okay,” and I said, “What does that look like to you?” And she said, “I just, I know, they're very emotional about what's happening.” And you know, they're already grieving, you know, the fact that she will pass away and she's anxious about the process and anxious about what this is going to look like. And I said, and so I reflected with her about, you know, her reasons for making this decision. And, you know, she says, “It's the right decision to be made, but I’m just very anxious about it.” And you know, she wants to take the pain away from her children, because she knows that this is a painful time for them, and emotional time. So of course, she's always been the rock of the family. So I said to her, “Why don't we do some memory making?”
And so I know she's got a daughter, granddaughter, and a grandson and a few others, family members, like extended family members. And I said, “Why don't we do some memory making with them? And then this can be a time where you guys can all come together and all spend the time together and not be in this clinical setting and take the time to just spend with the family and not think about the fact that you're going to pass away.”
I say “So what we can do is we can come in to the room or together and I can bring lots of different colours of paints. And we can do some handprints or we could do some footprints. I've had patients do footprints before or we could do some thumb prints. And we can have just yourself and the loved ones and make prints together or can just have your handprint it really depends on what you guys want as a family. There's also a little locks of hair that we do. And we can also give little love hearts that our volunteers make.” And so we talk about this as a continuing bond.
“And we can give you a love heart we can give each family member a love heart. And so then whenever they squeeze and hold on, they always think about you or a special memory of you.” So she said “Yep, I want to do that I want to do some arts and crafts with my family.” She spent time reflecting on how she used to do arts and crafts with her children when they were growing up, and with her grandchildren now and that's a special memory she has and reflects that her family are arty. So this was something that you really want to pursue. So I said “Perfect.”
So I'm happy to come back the next day, with all my different arts and crafts and glitter and paint brushes and everything. I meet with the daughters and the sons and extended family there was lots and lots of family there, the children had called upon everybody and said, “Oh, we're gonna do some arts and crafts.” So there was lots of people in the room and everybody had a different colour. You know, someone had pinks and purples and greens and yellows. So everyone's a bit anxious about how to start so I kind of got into the room. The room was a little bit dark, because she likes her being quite dark the patient.
And then what we did was I said, “Let's put some music on, let's kind of bring the vibe up a little bit.” And that also takes it away from, everyone's just going to be standing there painting. But it also lets people just relax. So I spoke to the patient, and asked what was her favourite music. So we pop that music on, and then I set everything up. And so I always do the first one, just so the family are aware of how to do it. And I said, “You're not gonna hurt them at all,” she was able to sit up.
So I think it's really important for when I do memory making, I always make sure I try my hardest to do it when the patient's still a little bit alert. So then they can really participate in that memory making. And they can really grow those strong connections, which is the whole point of memory making. You know, of course, with continuing bonds, grief is something that will always become a part of you. And you're always going to be with your loved one. And I think it's really important that they've got this memory that they can make with their family and their loved ones to help with their grief.
So we I set it all up propped on the kind of the edge of the bed. So she could easily put her hand because she was doing handprints on the piece of paper. So we just have three pieces of paper, and I just grabbed the paintbrush, some family members will do it with just their fingers. But as a clinician, I always do it with a paintbrush, and so choose her favourite colour painted her hand. First one always is always a little bit wet, so you just place it down on the piece of paper, hold it for a few seconds and lift it back up, and then do it again.
And one of the granddaughters was really into it and was painting away, the different family members and the daughters were a little bit more reserved. So it's that time for clinicians to really go and you know, provide a bit of that grief counselling to them and encourage them to step forward. And so one was super anxious about it all because she knew very much that this was going to be one of those last memories, that she was going to have with her mum. So when all the family members had kind of done their paintings of their handprints, I sent them all outside, sometimes the rooms can become, you know, that can be too full. And it becomes overwhelming for the loved ones that are really starting to anticipate what this grief is going to look like.
So I brought them all into the room. And what I wanted them to do was paint Mom's hand and I told them to say your favourite memory of the patient, and what you love most about them. So I just stepped to the side, and I let each of each of the immediate family do that. And that was a really beautiful moment because they could just spend that time reflecting on their, you know, their favourite memory of that person. And it got very emotional and the loved one, you know, set it back to them their favorite memory and what they loved most about them. And that doesn't happen all the time. But sometimes when family members are a bit more reserved and taking a seat back, it's sometimes nice to try to prompt them a little bit to interact. And you know, take that moment away of “Oh, we're just painting a hand,” and it really destigmatizes what's happening right now and really focus on, you know, that connection and that bond, because when they look back at that, that handprint you know, they're always gonna remember what they said during those moments and what that moment was to them.
And I think that's a really special connection, and really helps those individuals to reflect and help with their grief that they're going through at the time. At the end of that session, the patient had said, “Oh, I want it I want to do one big one.” So I ran off and got a bigger piece of paper and she put the patient’s hand in the middle, and then all of her family and her grandchildren around. And it's a really beautiful piece of artwork that they created on that day. And she was very funny because she had said “I know exactly where that's to be hung.” And you know she really liked was even though she wasn't going to be there and wasn't going to be able to see or it was going to be hung in the house. She very much was still able to participate and that's something that she will always still be around and all the family will be able to take that time to reflect on her and remember that special moment they had together.
I think you know in our hospitals things can become very clinical. And I think it's a beautiful moment to take some time out of your busy clinical daily work, to spend time with family members to help with that their grief process, and taking that time to do some artworks to help with their grief. Because it's not an easy process for some family members, it's going to be a big journey for them. And this is something that they might never have experienced before and being in a hospital, it's never nice, and it's very clinical, and it's very noisy. So being able to create a safe space, a quiet space to do these memory making is fundamental.
LM
Lis Murphy
21:02
So Joe, I always have to ask about first impressions and highlights after listening to that story.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
21:12
I think it was a really interesting description of all the different things that we do when we're doing this death work in end of life care, in the hospital settings, you know, she starts off beautifully explaining how they realise this person's increased frailty and increased admissions to the hospital were happening, which is often a great indicator that a person may be approaching the end of their life, particularly if they've got a chronic health condition which this person did do. So that was one thing that I thought was really great, and a great tool for social workers to use themselves. When they're working in environments where you're having this ongoing contact with people, if it becomes more frequent, it might be an opportunity for you to say to your team, hey, what's going on here, it’s looking like we're approaching the end of life. Because if we think about it in that way, then we have an opportunity to really put the hard yards in when it comes to that therapeutic intervention at this time.
LM
Lis Murphy
22:20
That's really interesting, because it’s so useful in terms of planning for this, this kind of work, that you can actually be sowing the seeds, even before this point.
Jo, for me, I had this image of this social worker as a conductor of an orchestra. There was so much that was going on, that was, you know, as we like to refer to some of the magic behind the actual process. So you know, just even things like encouraging the family to take ownership, and the patient to make this space your own.
After she had given her the option of would you like to spend the end of life at home, in our hospice, or here. So from the get go, the patient has got agency, this woman, I'm going to call her the matriarch because she struck me as being the matriarch of this family, and giving her the option of where her end of life was going to take place. How she and the family can bring the familiar into it, and how, I mean, we do that in the birth space, why, of course, would we not be doing this in the end of life space and creating an environment that that is more comfortable, and more home like, and perhaps even for some, bringing the sacred into space.
And the other thing I really loved is the use of senses. It wasn't just language and conversation, it was the use of printmaking, and the use of music, that I wouldn't mind talking about a little a little after, but in terms of first impressions, they're mine, Joe.
And, Joe, one other thing that struck me, and I'd love you to pick it up, is this social worker, clearly articulates one of the theories that sit behind memory making, and that was the Continuing Bond Theory. And I know this is your area, Jo so can you talk us through, you know, what is the evidence? What is the research that we can use to support this practice?
JMc
Jo McIlveen
24:30
So Continuing Bonds is one of my favourite theories because it acknowledges that grief is ongoing and grief isn't a problem to be solved, but an experience to be shared, to be carried. So enabling families and patients to participate in memory making, that's an opportunity to open up a discussion around grief and our ongoing grief around that. But continuing bonds also says that it's normal to stay connected to our loved ones, even though they're not physically here with us anymore.
We had Bereavement Theory, prior to Continuing Bonds, that talked about severing connection and not having a relationship with anyone after that person after the death. And it's really interesting that when they did this research, they came to find that, in fact, continuing bonds may describe many of the grief related behaviours that we have in terms of holding on to items of our loved ones, and the daily habits that we may continue, or the private rituals, the conversations with the photographs or visiting the places that are close to them, and you. So that's a really interesting point as well, that I guess, that continuing bonds also helps us cope with our grief. And it enables us to have discussions around grief, that is not pathologizing grief, or, you know, we're taking, making sure that we're normalizing what grief is, validating people's experiences.
And the interesting thing about Continuing Bonds research is the researchers actually felt like the participants under reported how much of a continued bond they had with the person for fear of being called mad, or you know, that there may have been, you know, some adverse implications for them the ongoing bond that they had with that person. So that's what I find really interesting about continuing bonds. And I think so all of us do it in some way, shape, or form. And we probably don't have the language around, knowing what it is.
Families have different rituals around continuing bonds in my family, for example, people become birds, which is just really interesting. But now, after my father died, the kids and I, and everyone in my family thinks he's a magpie. So when the magpies are at home, everyone just says, “Gidday Paulie,” which is really nice for us and for my kids that normalizes the ongoing connection to that person, even though they're physically not here. So that's really important.
LM
Lis Murphy
27:19
Jo that's a lovely description of, why we do what we do. And when I when I, as I was listening to you, I was reflecting back on some of those things that happened in that memory making story that really support that. And, you know, yes, there was this beautiful artwork that she engaged, both the family and the matriarch in this practice, and made it a joint project, if you like, but some of the language I thought was interesting and quite beautiful, when she was asking people to nominate a memory, that they that they have a beautiful memory that they have of their mom and vice versa, that they can actually reflect on as they make the artwork.
So earlier, I had mentioned it, like it's not just about the product, it was this beautiful linking of both the theory and the language to the process, knowing that when Mum passes away, this particular art piece is going to have a very, very strong link to this, both her life but also that particular time that they shared at the bedside.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
28:35
Yeah, and making the environment setting it up to be as soothing as possible by you know, bringing in the photos or the paintings from home. They may have been blankets, or you know, changing the lighting or asking about favourite music as well, being really important. Getting that person's favourite music is something that can really set a mood. And I think if you think about what a busy hospital clinical environment looks like, social work, are able to change that environment. We're able to turn down the lights, we're able to bring some peace. And we were able to instil a dignified environment for that person, you know, because we're just asking, what is it you love? I remember, the social worker had a wonderful question for that for that person. And she said, What's the most important thing for you at this time? Like what a great question.
LM
Lis Murphy
29:32
“And what does that look like?” I think she followed that up. So lovely kind of description, I guess would have would have come through after after that question.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
29:40
And then the patient said that the thing that was upsetting her was that she wanted to take the pain away from the family. And that's a really hard thing for anyone to hear. But again, an opportunity for the social worker to kind of do a little bit of psychoeducation on grief and how important it is that it’s part of the process, we feel the feels all the things that we feel, you know, that's Worden's work and the Tasks of Mourning. But again, any opportunity this social worker had to do some psychoeducation around grieving for both the patient and the family, she absolutely jumped in, which I thought was amazing. She talked about some of the daughters were having some of them were having a harder time, and that gave her an opportunity to do some grief counselling and normalise that person's grief experience, validate what they're going through, and talk about, you know, grieving styles, that intuitive, more emotional, versus instrumental, which is more practical and cognitive. So she did, the social worker did a wonderful job at really, you know, using every tool in her toolkit to support that family.
LM
Lis Murphy
30:54
I absolutely agree with you, Jo, and I thought, what a wonderful family and person to be doing this creative process with because from listening to her, it was something that she enjoyed doing throughout her life and enjoyed doing with her grandchildren. So what a beautiful activity to be doing at the end of life. But I also think it gave the family and the patient a focus to you know, sometimes that end of life period can feel difficult to know, how do I spend this time with mum. So to actually create a project together would have been great, right? So and especially whilst this woman was conscious, and I love the way that she was able to describe the process, I mean, even little tips Jo, like, I always, you know, let them know that the first handprint there's always a bit messy. This is a practice run, so to speak. And the more we do it, I guess the more defined the handprint becomes. So little tips like that were really great to listen to.
And I also liked how she, I get a sense that she backed off a wee bit, and the family, we're engaging in it. And I think that shows such sensitivity to how we work with a family that we know when to also step back and let the family and the person actually direct it as they engaging more, we step back in the background.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
32:29
Social Work dance, isn't it, in and out, in and out. I totally agree, Lis and I love that there was a granddaughter that kind of just took charge. And for me, that's really important because, you know, normalising this time for that person, you know, I'm not sure how old the granddaughter was but, you know, being able to enjoy an activity and in be joyful at the same time as very sad is what's happening in that space. And that's a really important thing for people to know that it's okay to be and feel the same two things, that duality at one time. Because grief is complicated. And that's what often happens that we feel two things at once. And it's really confusing but by undertaking these types of activities, like memory making, it's an opportunity for us to say that, you know, to normalise that again.
The thing that I really love also is, and I think we need to point this out, it's really important, the opportunity for social workers to have some wonderful therapeutic engagement when they're working in very busy clinical settings. And I'm deeply appreciative of this social worker prioritizing end of life care over the other demands in the acute hospital setting.
And I think it's really important that as social workers, we have a good sense of how we can justify that to managers, or people who are more concerned about bed flow and discharge planning, as opposed to not only supporting families and patients at end of life, but also filling up a social worker’s cup because we know this end of life work from our conversations with all of our colleagues really does fill us up and gives us an opportunity to engage in that relationship based therapeutic intervention on a busy hospital ward.
LM
Lis Murphy
34:33
I think that's a wonderful point that you bring up, Jo, that this is nourishing work both for family, the patient and also the social worker. But I also recall, this is very similar to how it was in the neonatal deaths’ space back in the early 80s, late 70s, where social workers had to really fight hard to justify why we were doing memory making with families at the death of a baby. Similarly, to what you had said earlier, we'd often you know, prior to that babies were, you know, buried in unmarked graves, mothers were told to get on with life and maybe have another baby. But now it's an established part of the neonatal death process. And I think that's what I hear you saying that this is work that very much is important for both a social worker and our nursing colleagues to take onboard, more and more people are dying in hospitals, and this is a legitimate part of the work that we do, both with the patient and the family.
Jo, in in kind of wrapping this up, I mean, you know, you and I could talk about this for days, but this particular memory making process happened whilst the person, the patient, was alive. But my understanding is that memory making both in COVID, and post COVID is happening, not just in this space, but in other spaces Jo, when the person has actually died? Is that right? Like that it is actually happening elsewhere in different clinical spaces?
JMc
Jo McIlveen
36:16
Absolutely. And I think it really depends on the referral, the referral, for example, or the relationship that you have with the client, I believe, this social worker has the amazing opportunity to do a lot of the pre death work given her clinical environment. So she has very strong relationships with her, her patients and their family, because she's known them for a very long time. And, you know, I think the therapeutic benefit for the patient, obviously, is much more significant when they can be involved, but also for the family, you know, when she talked about that life review, “what's your favourite memory of mum?” Everyone got really emotional. And that was a really hard conversation, but again, a time of reflection. And I'd be really curious to know, what impact memory making has and the activities facilitated by this for social worker has on the family long term? And does it decrease their bereavement risk, because they've been involved in this therapeutic intervention?
The other thing that we haven't mentioned is, you know, what's the intersection between art therapy, which is an established approach to caring at end of life for patients and families? But also, how does that intersect with memory making as well? So there's a really cool research project in there for two PhDs!
LM
Lis Murphy
37:45
In those two alone. Yeah, yes, yes.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
37:50
I think that it's clinician preference. Often, when the memory making takes place, some people are very firm on whether it's pre or post death. For me, there's no hard and fast rule. It's what's best for the patient and the family and the opportunity. Often, social workers may get a referral much too late. And we cannot do the memory making pre-death. So it takes place after death. There's challenges both pre-death and post death when it comes to physically undertaking memory making and that can absolutely impact on what you're able to do. I remember a circumstance where I went down to the mortuary with a colleague, and we wanted to do some hand prints, but the person had been deceased for quite a while and she was an older person and it was impossible to get a handprint. So we ended up doing thumb prints, which was still appreciated by the family, and as highly value like reflected in the research, however, yeah, so there are certainly advantages and disadvantages to both. But it just really depends on what you value at the time with that patient and with that family as a social worker.
LM
Lis Murphy
39:14
As I listen to you I imagine that there are some similarities in in the actual intervention if you like, whether the patient's alive, or deceased, in terms of how you introduce choice into the matter how you explain the process to the patient and/or family, how you incorporate what is known about the person and the family in relation to how you offer the memory making, how you link the importance of this work to grief and them memorializing this person, and that it's actually a useful part of the grief process. And also, I think the area of encouraging ownership of actually creating and setting up the space as a social worker, but encouraging ownership of the process of family and or the person who's dying. So there's some kind of key things that crossover whether the person's alive or not.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
40:19
That's right. And it absolutely is connected to Worden's Tasks of Mourning, you know, Task One is to accept the reality of the loss. So, if you're working with the social worker, and your family and your mum who is dying, you're able to love her and care for her while you're doing those prints, or taking those photos, whatever it might be. Just the same as if you are doing it when she's died, you know, how do we come to terms with accepting the reality of that loss other than that physical, being with that person, and in the end, you know, coming to see and touch and smell, how things may be changed or not changed?
How do we how do we use memory making to integrate, you know, that reality of loss for the patient and family, you know, there's huge benefits to undertaking that. But also, you know, it gives us an opportunity, we have a keepsake that we can then help to “feel the feels” again, you know, process the pain, or whatever it is we're feeling. When we look at that thing, or we hold that thing. We listen to that music, whatever it might be. And then also, you know, Worden’s last task is about finding an enduring connection to the deceased. So if you've got their handprint or you know, a lock of their head, you have that connection, you can, you can hold that and you can put your hand over that handprint and feel connected to whoever that person might be.
LM
Lis Murphy
41:54
Jo, thank you so much for introducing another wonderful grief theory. So Worden’s Tasks of Mourning. And I really thank you for helping to create this episode that I think will be important for both the undergraduate social worker as well as the postgraduate social worker, because, as we've heard, grief process is changing and morphing, but it's still underpinned by some very valuable theory there.
And we know that, you know, many of our undergrad social workers don't get this in their course. And so what I would say is, “here you go, here's a little how to piece.” And if you're interested in end-of-life care, this is a beautiful, beautiful description embedded with a theory that we hope you enjoy and can use in your practice.
So, Jo McElveen, thank you for sharing this episode with us.
JMc
Jo McIlveen
42:52
Thanks, there was so great to be here.
JS
Justin Stech
43:00
Thanks for listening to the Social Work Stories Podcast. All of the stories we share are de-identified to respect and protect the people involved. We create this podcast because we're passionate about building the Global Social Work Community and strengthening our practice no matter the context. If you want to help us grow the podcast tribe, and continue the work we do, we would love it if you can subscribe or follow the podcast in your favourite podcast app. That way, you'll be sure to get every episode as soon as it's released.
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